The stories we tell ourselves can shape our identities, aspirations, and experiences, and set the parameters for what we can achieve.
But they can also have negative effects.
By Michael Gervais for Harvard Business Review
Photo: Norman Posselt/Getty Images
If your narrative is overly influenced by external forces, such as other people’s opinions or societal pressures, they can box you in and limit what’s possible. Instead of making the next move, you may tell yourself, the odds are against me or I’m not smart enough. Instead of gunning for a promotion, you may think, I’m not qualified. Instead of making a career change, you may say, I’m too old. If left unexamined, these stories can feel real, true, and immutable.
We all have the ability — and the responsibility — to disrupt these negative stories and craft better ones. Our success depends on it.
Recently, I partnered with Microsoft on a series called Decoding Disruptors. Reflecting Microsoft’s deep commitment to diversity, inclusion, and growth mindset, the goal was to explore the psychology of women who have disrupted the narrative in their business or industry. The women I talked with so far include:
- Rumman Chowdhury, Global Lead for Responsible Artificial Intelligence, Accenture
- Cindy Eckert, CEO and Founder, Pink Ceiling
- Meryl Farr, CEO, Kennedy Rice Mill
- Theresia Gouw, Founding Partner, Acrew Capital
- Cashmere Nicole, CEO and Founder, Beauty Bakerie
- Bozoma Saint John, Chief Marketing Officer, Endeavor
- Shivani Siroya, CEO and Founder, Tala
- Megan Smith, Founder, shift7
Like the professional athletes and Olympians I’ve worked with, these women, who come from different backgrounds and work in an impressive range of industries, are able to organize their inner lives to flourish in their professional lives. They’re able to tune out the noise. They take responsibility for their own choices, thoughts, and actions, and, most of all, they derive their sense of self from within. Their lessons are applicable to all of us.