People won’t tell you what you’re doing wrong until you ask them.
by BY CARMINE GALLO, KEYNOTE SPEAKER AND AUTHOR, ‘FIVE STARS: THE COMMUNICATION SECRETS TO GET FROM GOOD TO GREAT’@CARMINEGALLO
for INC.
photo: Getty Images
If you want to improve your public-speaking skills, all you have to do is ask. Building any skill requires feedback, but many people are reluctant to ask for help.
I was thinking about the topic of feedback recently when I went to the golf range to fix a problem my instructor had pointed out. Meanwhile, the guy next to me was swinging wildly, hitting balls everywhere except where he was aiming. He made the same mistakes over and over, growing vocally angry with each swing.

It’s unlikely the frustrated golfer had taken a lesson, because no teacher would have told him to practice that fast. In fact, only about 14 percent of recreational golfers take lessons. For some people, ego gets in the way. Nobody likes to be told they need to fix something. The result is that they never reach their full potential.

When it comes to improving their skills, champion athletes, successful entrepreneurs, and top business leaders have a very different perspective than the average person.

They’re constantly asking the following question: How do I get better?

This simple question can lead to dramatic improvements in your public-speaking skills.

Actively Solicit Feedback

I’ve made two important observations in my career as a communication coach. First, the best public speakers solicit feedback. Second, most people are reluctant to offer their input until they’re asked for it. That means if you want to take your public-speaking skills to the next level, ask people for their opinion.

For example, I’ve written 10 books and have given keynote speeches to audiences around the world. And so people are surprised when I ask them for their opinion on a presentation or a piece of writing. They assume I don’t want feedback, but the opposite is true. I crave feedback because, as one high-profile CEO in his 60s recently told me, “No matter how good we think we are, we can all get better, especially when it comes to writing and speaking.”